Two

[It's a little long, and though it looks like two separate poems, they are meant to be read side by side. It just didn't want to get formatted that way. =)]

I get up before the sun,

walk a mile to get a bucket of water;

add a little more to last night’s dinner

            to stretch it out, just a little longer.

Throw a couple of sticks on the meager fire:

it’s a little cold.

I don’t have to break through snow to get to 

where I need to go.

Sun’s shining, birds singing…

Almost don’t notice the man with the gun.

He asks my business: I say, “School.”

To help me along, he shoves the tip of the

gun—a bayonet point—in my back

and pushes.

I feel blood trickle down my back,

but keep my head up.

I get to school, and immediately peace 

washes over.

My God is here.

I can’t read, but I can listen.

Songs, stories, prayers…

            All rush forth without ceasing,

From me, my friends, people I don’t 

know.

We’re all His children.

My hands and arms greet Him, tears stream 

down my face.

I bow down and bury my face to the ground.

I’m not worthy, but He loves me!

There’s the man with the gun, again.

More of them.

Discovery: school isn’t what they 

thought it was.

He recognizes me, smiles, walks over.

Looks at me, tears still fresh on my face. 

Tilts his head and asks: “Do you believe in 

Jesus?”

I say: “Yes.”

He aims at my head and pulls the trigger.

I am home.

Do I have to get up? It’s not even 10 am.

Shuffle, shuffle three feet to the bathroom.

Open the fridge, cupboards, what to eat?

            So many choices. Eh, nothing today.

Little cold: check the thermostat, who turned

it up? Mmmm, comfortable.

Mom, my car’s in the shop: gimme a ride.

            Such a pain to ask for rides.

Why are those birds so friggin’ loud? Wish 

it weren’t so sunny today.

            People who have to walk are such

losers. Haha.

Why is every light red? Drive better, mom.

Doesn’t matter—it’s just school.

            No one cares about being there.

I think I have a test in history.

            Good time to catch up on sleep.

Crap. Here we go again. Another stupid day.

            I wish I didn’t have to go.

No one’s here; did all my friends ditch 

and not tell me? Bitches.

Talking, lectures, reading…

            Won’t they just shut up?

            Why is everyone in my face?

            I don’t even know you; what crap are

you telling me about your boyfriend?

He came to me, so if you have a problem, it’s your problem.

Oh, no you didn’t just hit me! I’ll bury your 

face in the dirt, stupid ho!

Seriously? The principal’s office?

            Wasn’t even my fault. She started it.

What’s that noise? What’s going on?

Gunfire? Oh, God!! What’s going on?!!

Hey, I know that guy…he just shot that girl!

            Oh, please don’t come in here!!

He walks in and asks: “Do you believe in 

Jesus?”

I scream: “NO!!!”

He points the gun at me, then walks away.

I am lost.

Letter to God

One night, in the middle of trying to pray (I say trying because sometimes I start wandering all over the place), I just decided that instead of talking to God, I'd write to Him.  Same idea, just different format.  Helps me keep my mind a little more focused on what I want to do, which is conversate with God.  This is just stream-of-consciousness, meaning, as I was thinking, I was writing. It got kind of messy, so I typed it, because it was something I wanted to share.  Obviously, it relates to my life, job, situation, etc, but if it reverberates or touches even one other person, that was God's purpose. 

July 13, 2011

My Lord,

I work in a job that doesn’t allow an overt display of my relationship with You, AND seems to allow a demeaning of it. If I admit that I pray to the Almighty God, I feel that I would be automatically reduced to a whacked out, Holy Roller, proselytizing about unreal prophecies and damning everyone to hell.

So, I run covert ops.

I try to portray You in my everyday actions. I try to live the way You would live.  I have students who recommend me to others.  I have students email, asking to crash MY class because I’m the “only” one they’ve heard good things about. I’ve had students fail my class, only to register for the same class with me the next semester.  And none of this is ME.

It’s all YOU, Lord.  I may not be able to say it, but I can show it.

I fail constantly.  I don’t give all the attention to things or people as I should, when I should.  I put things off to the detriment of myself, though when that happens with work, I don’t make my students suffer for MY failings and I own up to when things have happened that are MY fault, and I try to do that when I fail my friends and family, too.  Sometimes it’s easier to be nicer to strangers, though, because you know your family will always be there.  Not an excuse though. I don’t always call out to You for help, nor give You the praise You deserve when You deserve it.

But I ask for Your forgiveness and start anew the next day.  And I probably ask for forgiveness every single day, because every single day, I fail.  And when I fail again, I know You’re there to, once again, pick me up. Because I am never the reason I succeed. I work hard, but not for my glory, even if I mistakenly accept it as my own.  The success I have is ONLY because You’ve led me down those paths and opened the doors, giving me those opportunities. I give You great thanks for that.

You make me strong when I feel like I’m not, make me humble when I’ve gotten too big for my own head, give me heart when I try not to have one.  I want You to be seen through me.  And even when it doesn’t turn out the way I thought it should have, doesn’t mean it didn’t turn out exactly the way You planned it. 

I don’t always know the reasons, but I don’t always have to know.  That’s easier to understand when I’m not questioning the reasons behind something that just happened, but it does help me get through tougher times.  What I do know is that I want to keep working for You.  Whatever I can or can’t do, I want to always show Your glory.  And I try to pray for that strength every day.

Your faithful daughter,

Olivia

Christian McNuggets

Hey Boys and Girls, it’s time for “Cooking With Uncle Jer’.”  Our recipes for today all use the same main ingredient: snake!  We have Snake Adobo, Snake Guam Style (Coconut Milk), even Sweet and Sour Snake.

Doesn’t that sound yummy?

Easter

Pain

Crowd
Hammer
Spikes
Wood
Suffering

It Never Was...

There are times I rage and scream.
Shake my fists
and cry out to the Heavens.
I plunge myself into
Misery
with my “what if’s” and “why me’s”
slipping and sliding, full speed ahead,
into an abyss of my own making,
all the while
yelling “Where are You?!!”
I wrap the dark like a shroud.
I keep only silence and depression as my company.
My suffering is
Great
and
Pathetic.
NO ONE knows what it’s like…but me.
Til I reach my end, that last
Pitiful strand of
Self.
I lash out one last time—
Shrieking—
I finally give up…
I stop the screaming, the pity.
I simply stop.

And then I hear…
                                                  …that still, small Voice.
                                                  Reminding me that it’s not my fight.

                             It never was.

(July 11, 2011)

Olivia

Hi. My name is Olivia Samaniego, and I’ve been attending Remnant for about a year. I think it was the second time I came to church and heard about Renaissance that I felt drawn to it. I jumped on the chance when I saw that Renaissance seemed to need a bit of help. I consider myself a writer, and a few of my pieces have been uploaded to this blog. I am very interested in the writing field, publishing, editing, etc., and would love to have my work published someday. I’m also a writing teacher, which means that I know how many people claim to hate writing, to not be able to write, or to be horrible writers. Occasionally, I’ll hear someone tell me they like to write. Rarely do I hear anyone tell me that they love to write and they know they are good. However, I do see many people put themselves down far below their real skill or ability. Part of the reasoning behind that is that writing has been given such a bad reputation through many seemingly torturous teaching methods. However, I think a bigger part of the reason is that writing takes time, and we, as a whole, don’t like to do things that take time. (I just felt I needed to give a little background about myself.)

The goal of Renaissance is to take back the Arts for Jesus Christ. First, a lot of people are put off by the word “art.” Many believe that to be an “artist” means that one is completely awesome with words, paint, clay, photos, etc. But I think that we’ve created a skewed idea of an artist. This is not to say that those who call themselves artists aren’t, nor does it mean that people who are great artists shouldn't be proud of their abilities. But, so many people out there have so many different kinds of talents, and it’s when we compare ourselves to others that most people feel they fall short—whatever that actually means. We’re not trying to find the best artists; it means that whatever comes from you, comes from a heart that knows the talent and the skill is a gift from our God.

Okay, okay, I’ll get off my soapbox. I’m good at lecturing; it’s my job, so sometimes it happens even when I’m off the clock. I asked Athena for writings and drawings from Remnant Kids, so you'll be seeing them sporadically. She told me that they were also doing a series on the Ten Commandments, and this is the first lesson they had. The kids were given a verse, John 2:5-6, and then they were given three questions to answer. (I’ve written the questions the way I saw their answers; I didn’t have the actual questions given.) What I like about kids is that, up to a certain age, while they certainly know how to lie, they can be some of the most honest people you will ever meet. Also, I left spelling and wording the way it was written. Anything I needed to clarify is in brackets.

John 2:5-6

But if anyone obeys His Word, God’s love is truly made complete in Him: whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.

1. Why are the Ten Commandments important?

2. How do you follow the Ten Commandments?

3. Do you break the Ten Commandments?

Lauryn

1. so you can have a [heart].

2. don’t do them

3. yes i do but i ask God to forgive me.

Elena

The ten commandments are important because u need to live by them or u got to HELL.

You follow the commandments by using them in every day life.

Yes, I break the commandments. [sad face]

Anonymous

The 10 commandments r important because it teaching you a lesson about going to heavan.

You follow them by not breaking them.

NO. I don’t break the ten commandments.

Alysia

The commandments are important cause they help us later on in life.

I follow them by doing the rules of them.

Sometimes I do brek them but when I do I apologize to God.

So, if you see me coming your way, you know what I'm looking for. If kids can do it...okay, I'll leave that alone. But seriously, I know you have something to write, a picture to take, a drawing to make...give the glory to God, and show it off.

I don’t dance. I don’t polka, don’t waltz, don’t do the bump or the frug. I don’t do the electric slide or the moonwalk, either. I’ve seen people country line dance and I have no interest in it. To me, line dancing looks like some bizarre adaptive PE class or something. The bottom line is that I don’t dance.
It’s not that I have anything against it, necessarily. I just don’t look good doing it. Have you ever watched a rhino dodge bullets? If you have, you’ve seen me dance! If not, imagine it and you’ll laugh out loud. I know I do. I’ve never figured out how God could get any glory out of a spectacle like that, so I don’t dance.
Church music has come a long way since the Gregorian chants. Years ago I went to Dallas, Texas, for a worship seminar and saw all kinds of dancing and heard all kinds of music. There was one guy that just kept spinning around and around as soon as the music started. I kept a pretty close eye on him because I was waiting for him to blow groceries all over the worship band. He never did, and I must admit I was kind of disappointed.
Now, before I go any further, let me explain that I am all for being excited in church. For too long the church has been, well, kind of dead. We’ve all been in services that were about as exciting as watching paint dry. And if God touches your heart and you want to dance, by all means cut a rug! Do the holy boogie all over the sanctuary.
Just don’t expect me to or look down on me because I don’t.
The great thing about God is that He’s not “one size fits all.” Take it from a fat guy, one size doesn’t fit all. It might fit most or even almost all, but nothing fits everybody.
God didn’t take away my individuality or my sense of expression when I became a Christian. There is no holy cookie cutter making all of us the same once we meet Christ. Thank goodness.
I am the third generation of ministers in my family and we are all different. My grandfather had a different preaching style from my uncle, and I have a different style than either one of them. Is one of us right and the others wrong? No, we’re just part of the Body of Christ.
Paul told the church in Corinth, “I want you to think about how all this makes you more significant, not less. A body isn't just a single part blown up into something huge. It's all the different-but-similar parts arranged and functioning together. If Foot said, ‘I'm not elegant like Hand, embellished with rings; I guess I don't belong to this body,’ would that make it so? If Ear said, ‘I'm not beautiful like Eye, limpid and expressive; I don't deserve a place on the head,’ would you want to remove it from the body? If the body was all eye, how could it hear? If all ear, how could it smell? As it is, we see that God has carefully placed each part of the body right where he wanted it. (1 Corinthians 12:14 18 MSG)
Can you imagine life without a nose? Or what if you didn’t have ears? How would you wear sunglasses? God knew what He was doing when He designed our bodies.
He also knew what He was doing when He designed the Body of Christ. Each of us is different, yet we are all still part of the Body. I don’t want to be the same as you, and Lord knows, you sure don’t want to be the same as me!
So the lady who called me an “example of ignorance” in church once because I wouldn’t hop around just didn’t understand. She may have been rude, but she just didn’t understand. I may not dance or hop, but I am still part of the Body of Christ. I may be a part that doesn’t move, but I’m a part nonetheless.
Not shining up my tap shoes.... Jerry

My Photojournalism project :)

My project was to take active photos of a specific aspect of the fair and to write photo captions, just like the photos you see in the newspaper. I didn't put the captions on here though, I just wanted to put the photos. :)

Photos by Daniela Estrada

" Lost Sheep; Found "

Father, forgive me for I have sinned
Not only once, but over and over again.
I don't understand why You love me
I can't understand why You care
I stand broken and ashamed
Yet still I find You there
Constantly wiping my tears
and giving me peace while calming my fears
When I find myself in pain
and I feel like it wont ever get better,
You come rushing to my side and remove that binding fetter
When I feel lost and like I'm walking blind
You remove the cover on my eyes and restore my sight
I am such a mess, Oh Lord
I threw morals out the window and lived by my own accord
I don't expect You to be so understanding,
When I let go of You and walk away
But You always stay
Even when I choose to stray
You're there with open arms
When I cry out Your name
Keeping me safe from harm and loving me the same.
I've been looking for love in all the wrong places
When Yours is there all along
I am so weak, only with You am I strong
I am worth so much more
Than giving myself over to someone elses pleasure
My life, love and heart are all priceless treasures
to be given to someone who loves with a love from above
Not earthly lust that people call love.
Lord, I pray please give me a clean slate
Help me get back to where you want me
I know it's not too late.

So I end with this:
Although I can't fathom
Why You love me or how You even care
I thank You, thank You, thank You
For the love You willingly give and allow me to share.
I'm grateful for Your promise
And for saving me from myself
For loving the whole world and for dying on the cross.

Because without You I'd be lost.
A lost, lonely sheep following the crowd
Giving in to empty promises and living life too proud
Wandering, wandering, wandering
In despair and broken inside
All the while feeling dead
Because only with You am I alive.

Your love has shone its light
And illuminated my path
I feel warmth like sunlight

As forgiveness washes over,

You say to me,
" My child you are free and by this world no longer bound, Rejoice! Oh little lost sheep for you have now been found."



By: Daniela Estrada

I know its been awhile, but New stuff comin soon!if your interested in gettin your works posted shoot me an email! All fine arts welcome! Love, daniela

" Perversion "

Love is patient.
We’ve been together a whole year; isn’t it time we showed our love?
Love is kind.
I don’t mean to hurt you; I just go crazy ‘cause I love you so much.
Love is blind.
He only says those awful things when he gets real stressed.
Love knows when to let go.
Next time you hit me, that’s it; I’ll leave.
Love knows when to say no.
If I ask him not to drink, most of the time he doesn’t; then he’s really nice.
Love one another.
I can’t help who I fall in love with; it’s not my fault I’m already married.
Love is unconditional.
I love the man he is when he’s not abusive.
Love is…

If you love me, you’ll do it.

Love is…

Love…

Is…

?

By: Olivia Samaniego

"America the Lost"

The genius of terror

the power of one

the secure insecurity

the doubt of loyalty

Life isn't fair

Fair isn't what we asked for

Life isn't safe

Safe isn't what we asked for

Life isn't nice

Nice isn't what we asked for

Choice

is what we asked for

is what we are given

is what makes us human

Choice is what makes us fall

Weak

because we won't accept our responsibility

because we won't admit our wrongs

Weak because strength is too

HARD

We have chosen terror

We have chosen power

We have chosen insecurity

We have chosen doubt

What have we chosen?

Terror

Because we feel invincible

Power

Because we fake self-sacrifice

Insecurity

Because we defy safety

Doubt

Because we don’t believe

America the Free

America the Brave

America the Lost.

By: Olivia Samaniego

"Windows to Your Soul"

As a picture can say a thousand words
So do your eyes as they reflect the world

I see in them pain, love, joy and sorrow
And a wonder for what will come
tomorrow

Tears come and fall from the same place
Either from cries of laughter or what fears
you'll face

One thing's for sure, they never tell lies
Emotions appear for whom you love or
despise

They masquerade in colors blue, brown, or
green
But no matter the shade its passion is seen

For the eyes are the windows to your soul
What you thought was hidden wil be open
for all to know.


By: Abraham Reisin

Working on it...

Hey Daniela here,

Just wanted to let you know I haven't forgotten about the blog, I'm actually having problems posting some of the writings up. Some poems have specific structures and blogger keeps changing it so I'm trying to get the poems on here as they were originally meant to be. It's kind of tricky sometimes! But I'll get it! Thanks for reading!

God Bless,

Daniela

"Criminals"

We're all one in the same

Thugs, Drug dealers, thieves, murderers

College graduates, Ministers, Activists, Humanitarians

We all commit crimes

OR

Mistakes as we call them

We infect with our diseases

drugs, sex, hatred, infidelity, immorality

and we think it's okay

Regret comes much later

when we think change is too late

Change doesn't always tear us apart

In the long run it makes us better

It's how we define ourselves

And separate our identities

From those the world tells us we should be

By: Daniela Estrada

You Might be A Christian...

I have come to the realization that some people are not sure if they are Christians or not. So with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy I have come up with this “View From The Pew Guide to Christians.” Or the less official name, “You might be a Christian if…” Follow along and score for yourself. Trust me, there will be a quiz at the end!
• If your car’s rear bumper is held together with bumper stickers warning that your car may be unmanned after the rapture or that Jesus is your co-pilot, you may be a “Christian.”
• If your Sunday lunch is programmed to be done at 12:30 in the afternoon, you may be a “Christian.”
• If you truly believe that a bumper sticker on your car or a tract left on a table is evangelism, you might be a “Christian.”
• If you avoid the newspaper, radio and television because you’re afraid they will rub off on you, you might be a “Christian.”
• If your right arm is permanently bent into an odd shape from carrying your 25 pound family Bible under your arm, you might be a “Christian.”
• If you have a cross made out of railroad spikes around your neck, you might be a “Christian.”
• If you dislike the new music in church, you know, any song written after the 19th century, you might be a “Christian.”
• If your internal clock sets off an imaginary alarm in your head at noon every Sunday, you might be a “Christian.”
• If your favorite Sunday lunch is roast pastor, you might be a “Christian” (or a board member at some of the churches I have pastored).
• If your favorite television personality has a huge bouffant hairdo, inappropriately large jewelry and/or garish eye makeup, you might be a “Christian.” Or a fan of Lady Gaga.
• If you are more concerned with getting out of church on time than on what the preacher is saying, you might be a “Christian.”
• If you have perfected the art of sleeping sitting up straight with your eyes open, you might be a “Christian.”
• If your nose is permanently angled downward so you can look down at others with it better, you might be a “Christian.”
See, that is the problem. So many people believe that Christians are like that. I meet people all the time who tell me that they have no problem with God, it is Christians they don’t like. I told a co-worker the other day that I don’t consider myself a “religious person.” I don’t use the term Christian all the time because we have done such a good job of watering down and compromising the term. Instead, I call myself a “Christ follower.” Being a Christ follower is a high standard, and sometimes I don’t measure up, but I strive to be worthy of the title every day. Let me show you the difference…
• If you are more concerned with those who are hurting than your own comfort, you might be a Christ follower.
• If you are praying for those who try to hurt you or despise you, you might be a Christ follower.
• If you are sincerely trying to make your life conform to what the Bible says it should be, you might be a Christ follower.
• If you are more concerned with living right than having the right bumper sticker, you might be a Christ follower.
• If your friends and family think of you as the person to go to when they have spiritual problems, you might be a Christ follower.
• If you live every day and make every decision based on the words of Christ, you might be a Christ follower.
• If your heart breaks for the people in your neighborhood, home or at work who don’t know Christ, you might be a Christ follower.
Quite a difference, huh? Jesus called us to be salt and light. Salt because it is a preservative, light because it repels darkness. If some of these little jabs made you uncomfortable (or downright angry) before you fire off that email, stop and ask yourself if there is a grain of truth to any of it. Eat the fish and spit out the bones. Doesn’t the life of the Christ follower sound more like what God wants from us than worrying about whether or not our pastor wears a tie? If we’re not careful, we can major in minors and miss the big picture. Christians, we can be more! Christ commands us to be more!
Challenging the saints because I love them… Jerry

A "Job" Life

Despite your excellent academic record,

We cannot accept you into our university this year.

Pray.

As you will be graduating at the end of the semester,

We expect payment to start at the end of May.

Pray.

Though you have outstanding qualifications,

We are looking for a more experienced applicant.

Pray.

Because you are six months behind in payment,

Your electricity will be shut off at the end of the week.

Pray.

The War Department regrets to inform you

That your son was killed in action on December 25.

Pray.

As this is your final notice, you must

Pay the total amount or you will be contacted by a collection agency.

Pray.

You have been asked to attend a conference with the principal

As your daughter is in danger of not graduating.

Pray.

You have failed to make the contracted payments and will

Be contacted to have the following items repossessed.

Pray.

Our sincere apologies are offered to you for the

Death of your husband while he was on the job.

Pray.

Please be advised that you must

Vacate the premises by the end of the month.

Pray.

Because your daughter signed a release of responsibility waiver,

We are not liable for the complications from her abortion.

Pray.

Due to the cutbacks the company is forced to make,

You will be laid off starting Monday, November 1^st.

Pray.

Our deepest sympathies are with you

Concerning the premature passing of your daughter.

Pray.

By: Olivia Samaniego

My Sweet Failures

Face down in the dirt

I'm reminded of my failures

From the trivial ones

to the life changing ones

I hold myself responsible for

My actions

But I do the same for the actions of others

IF only

I had said "No"

If only I had made an objection.

And I realize,

I hold the power to choose

AND

So does the other person.

I can't beat myself up for the mistakes of others

I can't continue to worry like I do

for it builds up negative thoughts

I yearn to be free of making assumptions.

I'm tired of wondering about this and that

I want to surrender it all.

And to live out my identity in Christ.

I don't want to hold fast to the negative

I want Optimism.

I want Joy.

I want Peace.

I want Life.

I want to be free.

And with that I see my failures,

My Sweet Failures

Because although they were once a bitter reminder

of my past

I look at them in a new light

For long ago a man bore himself on the Cross

Scars and stripes covering His body

As He shed His blood to grant me freedom

Freedom from this failures.

A bitter-sweet action.

I can't help but to smile,

Because of these failures I gain His Mercy and Grace

And His unfailing Love.

We ALL fall short.

My failures make me human.

But when I am forgiven for them

I can't help but to rise from the ground and think,

"Oh, my sweet failures."

By:Daniela Estrada

" True Life "

Bow down

To He who is Light

Dark hides in Shadow

He is the energy of time

He is the Everlasting

fall

to your

knees

Die to yourself

And Know beyond

the Darkness

Hear the Shadow scream

It has lost another

Whispers in your ear

You are wrong

You are wrong

You are human

You can be immortal

Shatter the mirror

Walk through the vanity of ego

Give yourself to the One

who Created Eternity

You have found true life

Strike the whispers silent

Eliminate the Shadow

and Enlighten deception

You have True Life.

By: Olivia Samaniego

" The Grateful Heart"

Lord help me set aside

All that the world wants me to be

For I am not of this world

Because by You I was forgiven and set free.

The temporary pleasures of this world

Have tried causing me to stray

It tried dimming the light that I shine for You

But was unsuccessful in turning my heart away.

I've been wanting to be something more

Than selfish and full of pride

To be that life among the dead

To show them that they are the reason why You died.

You didn't have to love us

But You did beyond compare

And nothing else will ever add up

To Your compassion and sincere care

You make this life better

And worth living everyday

Not because we love the world, but being patient

Brings us closer to seeing You face to face.

What a Marvelous sight it will be!

Because our sins were forgiven on Calvary

We yearn for the day to arrive

When we reach Heaven's gates,

It is then that we will fully know

What it feels like to be Alive!!

By: Daniela Estrada